She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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