Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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