found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
