After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
