Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
