I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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