Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I love having hate sex.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
