Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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