Soap is not a condiment
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
