normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
