on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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