singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
