Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
