clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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