We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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