just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
