I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
