If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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