I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
