this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
