she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
