Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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