Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
