I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
