Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
