woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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