I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
