One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
