no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
