Say something about gay babies.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
