Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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