The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
