if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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