Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Two words: blizzard sex
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
