i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize