after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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