Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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