Duck Duck Cougar?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
