How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I will die if light touches me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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