i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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