I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
As shirtless as possible
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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