so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
