he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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