I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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