Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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