Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
