he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
