Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
