I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
COCAINE IS GR8
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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