i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
