evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
