but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
