I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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