My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
