Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
