he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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