how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
