I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
