I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
