i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
