THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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