Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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